The Parent Connection Trap
Updated: Dec 7, 2020
It’s fair to say…that most people do not fit in a one size fits most box/shoe. Yet society expects we should. And as parents, we fall into the same trap with our children...And man are those parenting traps real!
Maybe you find yourself lost or confused by the roadblocks your children create when you try to build those important communication connections.
Clarity may be found
Finding a connection with others might be remembering that communication is a two way street marked with unique circumstances.
Finding a unique style of support and understanding may be needed to help our family, friends and co-workers
Finding the courage to continue even when it becomes difficult
Maybe you are in a relationship tug a war with your tween, teen or young adult?
We want to connect and they pull away…You are not alone. Many parents find themselves struggling to communicate with their children during these developmental stages which result in disconnections and discontent for both parent and child.
Breathe and catch your breath because the right time to have honest conversations are not during times of struggle but when the situation fizzles. Proceed With Caution... just because things are calm after the fizzle avoiding the tough moments only ensures that another battle is just around the corner. The war will be back after the commercial break...Be brave, be calm and be open to their feedback, too.
Know your audience and understand your children are struggling, too.
Refrain from minimizing their struggles by comparing your stories of struggle
Instead share stories that invite common moments of being in their shoes
Don't try to "fix" the issues
Instead try problem solving with them or asking if they need or want your help
Don't ignore the behavior or difficult emotion displayed
Instead acknowledge that you see the hurt
Maybe you are a parent of an exceptional learner and find yourself being the one unable to connect because you don't know what to do?
As a parent of a teen struggling with exceptionalities, I can relate to your struggle. I have a passion for parents and caregivers living with exceptional learners or disabilities. I spent countless years researching, learning and living through obstacles blocking the bridges to connectedness for exceptional learners.
Although the journey may be longer than Neuro-typical kids, the end result just may be sweeter. Celebrating each victory is a must...because it is in those moments where our children feel their most happiest and proud...the bonus is building layers to healthy self-esteem.
So... How do you find the right fit?
find a common ground, neutral and safe topic to explore (imagine the nude shoe)
Throw out techniques that haven’t fit and have been unsuccessful
Be brave and try different things that may leave you vulnerable but worth your efforts
Let them know your intentions and how you feel using “I statements”
Don’t give up…never give up
I have had the privilege of helping clients and families like mine, who are lost and confused in the wrong box/size. My own personal journey has given me the motivation and desire to bring awareness to those tweens, teens, caregivers, who recognize that life can be exceptional with the right tools and shoes.
Who knew the right fit was inside us all along?
For more information or to book a session with Julie Galloway, LPC, RPT visit our website at
https://www.galloway-counseling.com/ or call 337-258-5199