Lessons from a Shrinky Dink- The Individual Edition (Part Two)
Updated: Jan 13
A shrink is a noun and an informal term used to describe a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist or a psychotherapist. The term refers to shrinking heads of enemies and was used in 1960 as a joke.
Shrinky dinks became popular in the 80s and are a creative activity that consists of sheets of polystyrene which is cut in shapes, colored and heated for a cool end result.
The combination of the two seem about right for this psychotherapist and lover of play therapy.
Did you know that therapists become therapists because someone helped them through a difficult life journey?
It's true...that's exactly how I ended up on this side of the couch or at my office, a chair. I went from a hotness to a psychotherapist. And I really want to share the top game changers that I wish I knew when the Shrinky Dink made it debut.
Here is the second installment of what I believe are shrinkable learning lessons that I share with my clients...almost daily that I wish I knew way back in the 1980s.
Join me as I color up your world and heat it up for a cool end result. (hence that Shrinky Dink)
Lesson #6- Fly that freak flag Babe.
Stop it! Just don't do it! Refrain now... from trying to be just like your friends. We are all unique, special, one of a kind, rare...an original. We learn differently, we have our own sense of style, our own taste and our own ideas. We observe and compute experiences and situations differently. We get to have our own thoughts and opinions. Do not let anyone tell you that your way of learning, living and loving is wrong because it's not how everyone else does it.
As long as you are being safe and you are respectful of yourself and others...you fly...fly that freak flag. Be you! Own it! But also appreciate those who are doing their thing...living their own dream...flying a freak flag, too. Think of it like having multi colored glitter or flavors. Life would be boring if we only had one color and one flavor.
Lesson #7- You are not alone in your struggle...there are others walking a similar path.
Every single human on the planet will be faced with something hurtful, difficult, overwhelming and disappointing. When we connect with others walking a similar path we feel better because...wait for it... we are not alone. Someone else out there understands.
The trick is to be brave enough to share your story so others can be courageous to connect with you. That's the rub... that's where the resistance occurs. What will Karen think if she knows? Will Karen still like me?
Lesson #8- Perfection is not going to make you lovable.
We spend way too much time trying to make things or ourselves appear flawless. Why? Because we want to be accepted, admired and loved by others. The issue with this concept- people can not relate to perfect...because it just does not exist.
Repeat after me-We all make mistakes. We are all flawed. There is no perfect person or situation.
Lesson #9- The only control you have is over yourself.
We are in control over ourselves which includes our thoughts, feelings and actions. That means someone can influence your emotional state but they do not have the power to control how to feel. Unless you have superpowers, you do not have control over other people. Which means...you do not have control over what other people say, think, feel or do.
Lesson #10- You do not have to say YES.
Guess what??? You do not have to tell people yes when you don't want to do something. This does not make you unlikeable. Saying "no" just means you have healthy boundaries.
Stay Tuned for more lessons (editions for the family, mother-daughter relationships and couples)
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